The Great Hauntings : The Cullen, Masen, Platt, Whitlock, Hale Special
by Izzy Nava
Summary: It was supposed to be a family day, that is until it was interrupted. Now they're all surrounding the Tv watching a cliche haunting show. What good will come from it, who knows?


_**A/N Tis a one shot!:**_

"Is everything, and everyone ready to go?" Edward asks me, as he loads the final bag into the Volvo.

"Yes. I think so. Let me just strap Renesmee in." I answer, taking Nessie's hand and leading her towards the Volvo.

I don't see the point of doing all of this for a simple trip down to the pumpkin patch and cornfields in Hoquiam. To the Hoquiam Harvest Festival, they called it.

The whole blending in, I understand. Wearing black tights, and a dark maroon sweater dress, and thigh-high boots, I don't understand.

I could have easily worn a pair of jeans, a thick sweater, and sneakers.

Alice is too much sometimes. She seemed to be a force to be reckoned with. Yet, lately, it seemed all she wanted to do was play dress-up with Nessie and me. No, thank you.

"Alright let's get go-een—" he began only to get cut off by the ringing of his cellphone.

"Hello?"

"Dude, turn on ghost adventures, RIGHT NOW! They're talking about you!" Jacob yells into the phone.

We look at one another and quickly rushed into the house. Me carrying little Renesmee in my arms.

"I'm on my way!" Jake manages before Edward shuts the cellphone closed.

Edward quickly snatched the remote from the coffee table and flicks on the television. There we are met with the sight of Zak Bagans standing before an old abandoned hospital within Chicago. 'Haunted' was the word they used for it.

"One of the victims of the Spanish Influenza was a seventeen-year-old boy named Edward, who disappeared without a trace one day. Will we come into contact with his spirit tonight?"

"Well, there goes our trip…" I muttered to myself, as I watch Edward sit down before the television.

Alice skips into the room giddily, quickly taking a seat next to Edward. "This is going to be good." She says, bouncing like a child on a sugar high.

We all watch as Zak and his team begin to enter the hospital. It's fun to watch as they all jump every time the noise is heard.

"Edward, Edward is that you?!" Zak asked, his face is beginning to lose color.

Suddenly, Edward yells, "YEAH, MAYBE!"

Renesmee's giggles suddenly fill the room, "Do they really think daddy is a ghost?" She asks, turning to look at me.

"Well, your daddy is pretty old." Alice pipes in.

The shocked look on Nessie's face is enough to send me into a laughing fit. That is until it turned to horror.

"Daddy isn't _that_ old. Is he Mom? _Is_ he?" She asks horrified.

"He's...old enough. Old enough to be your father. And mine. Hunny, it's a good thing you are handsome! " I reply, as she turns back to the television.

"Old enough to know a great thing when I got it, my love!" As he laughs evilly. I swat him for good measure.

We all watch as they show a very sick looking Edward laying in a hospital cot.

"Ooh no. Poor Daddy." Nessie says, crawling on the couch to him, and hugging him tightly.

"Mary Alice quit scaring her," Esme says, thwacking her in the arm.

Meanwhile, on the television. "We can also try to contact his mother. Elizabeth Masen." Zac says, revealing a discolored picture of her.

Edward bursts into laughter, staring at the television in disbelief, "Now that would be an interesting show. My mother had a temper that could rival my own." He says, chuckling again.

Alice and I laugh as we watch Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme's jaws drop in surprise.

"Why?" Nessie asks, with wide eyes.

"Well, because he really was born a long, long time ago." I explain..

"How old is he?" She asks, concerned.

"Seventeen. " Alice pipes in.

"Ah…" she says, before crawling onto Edward's lap once more.

The show is beginning to get ridiculous. How do they expect the creaking floors they're walking to be Edward?

"The past few months how many of you have come out in these haunting shows?" I ask, amused.

"Emmett?" Alice calls.

He brings out a large whiteboard with all their names on it.

"Alice is in the lead with thirty-eight times," Emmett says.

I shake my head at them in disbelief, "Seriously? Isn't it sort of suspicious that they know anything of our family?"

"Not really. Most of the times they just pick at random. Missing person or person who vanished suddenly. There are plenty of cases." Jasper says.

"Why do they automatically assume I lived in an old crumbling castle? I mean, I know I am old but not that old, besides I'm sure I have more class than that. I'm old, but I wasn't here when they were killing innocent women, who they thought were witches." Carlisle murmured, frowning.

"I'm loving this," Jacob says as he drops into the couch next to Edward.

"That's not funny, my Jakey," Nessie says, pouting adorably.

"Sorry, Ness, but it's the truth, your dad is old, very old in fact. Try older than dirt, little girl!" He says, laughing again.

"Be that as it may. At least he's not acting like a child." Nessie snips, scowling now.

Emmett guffaws, suddenly pulling our attention to him. "Remember when they said Esme was La Llorona?"

Esme turned towards him indignantly. "I am not La Llorona."

"Now how do we know this isn't tr— ayah! Ouch! What was that for?" He begins roughly rubbing the back of his head.

"For being insensitive. Quit it." Rosalie says, scowling at him.

"It's alright, sweetheart," Carlisle says, biting his lip to hide his amusement.

"You of all people should know that I'm not Mexican," Esme says, dryly.

We're all watching to see what'll happen next.

"I would have liked to kill her ex-husband, for what he did to her. But Esme didn't let me." He said, pouting petulantly.

"La Llorona? Who is that?" Nessie asks, looking at me, expectantly.

"Wait, then how is it that the police found him dead, just a few weeks after Esme was turned?" Rose asked.

"It's an old folk tale from Mexico," I whispered to Nessie.

"I-I didn't do anything to that vile man, Charles Evanson," Carlisle says, indignantly.

Edward then turns to him, an eyebrow raised, "Then why did come home one night with red eyes? Your thoughts were full of self-satisfaction. Even now as I am saying this, your mind has a self-satisfied tenor." He says.

"We shall now call upon the ghost of Major Jasper Whitlock, a civil war hero." The tv blares.

"He's my husband!" Alice says, excitedly.

"It is said, the young major was on his way to evacuate a small Texas town when his horse suddenly lost it. The poor major fell into the river, drowning at only eighteen." A tiny woman says while they zoomed into the picture on the wooden table.

On the screen appeared a very discolored picture of Jasper standing with his Confederate Army uniform, that looked older than dirt, and old rifle in his hand as he stood at attention.

"My, my. Jazzy, you look really good in your uniform..." Alice croons.

The show's inaccuracies are enough to send me on overdrive. It is clear we're going to have to do something.

"Where are they even getting all the information?" Rosalie asks.

We all hear the loud guffaw from the back of the room, and turn to see Emmett. His boisterous laughter cluing us in on what happened.

"Emmett!" We all shout.

"For our last and final attempt, we shall attempt to summon and speak to the ghost of Rosalie Lillian Hale. She disappeared on the night of April 14th, the year was 1933. Rochester, New York. Leaving her best friend's home walking towards hers. Just one week before she was to wed Royce King. Rochester's most wanted bachelor of the day. Vanished into the air… upon leading a brief search, it was assumed since a body was never found that Miss Hale may have simply run away from home. To this day, her extended family wonders what happened to her, so we shall attempt to make contact with her."

"Oh..no. Emmett? _Run_." Edward said as we looked towards a murderously angry Rosalie.

"Oh God, Rosie it was a joke. I'm sorry!" He calls over his shoulder as he disappears through the front door.

"Get him, Rose!" Esme calls after her as she disappears after Emmett out the door.

Once they disappear through the thick vegetation, that was now sprinkled with different shades of red, orange, brown and yellow.

"Now continuing with our marathon to Ghost Adventures with your host Zak Bagans." The tv announced.

"Momma? I'm hungry." Nessie says, tiredly.

"Alright, sweetie, let me get you something to eat…" I say, smiling down at her as she rubbed her tired eyes.

"I've got it, dear," Esme says, making her way into the kitchen.

"Ok.." I mutter in response, before turning my attention back to the show.

"The show is great, huh?" Jacob asked, amused.

"Did you know Emmett was playing a joke on us?" Edward asks, expressionlessly.

"No, but to tell you the truth that was pretty amazing. How did you not get exposed?" He asks, intrigued.

"It's a podcast. Emmett had it connected to our tv...and yours." Jasper said.

"How many of these are there?" Jacob asks.

"Tons." Jasper says critically.

"Let's watch the next one!" He says, enthusiastically.

Right then, Esme walked out with a tray of food for Nessie and Jacob.


End file.
